If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
