i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
