The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
