there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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