we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
