dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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