im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
