im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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