He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
