i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
