He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
