Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i out mim tonsoeep
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
