i think my mom watched the whole time
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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