I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
