ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
