somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
