I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
