I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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