All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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