kristin has been a bad kristin
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
