Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
