he wants to bone in the snuggie
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
