he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
