I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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