I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
