whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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