We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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