all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
