all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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