See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
tell me about the fingering
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