Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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