If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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