I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
