You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
