You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
