Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
