doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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