you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
