theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize