I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize