i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
