Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
