fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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