And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
