Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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