oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
