I am midnight drunk by noon
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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