I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
