It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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