Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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