Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
