belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
