Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
