I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
