is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
