If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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